Saturday, January 14, 2006

Quick, help me getting laid

Today I was surfing some blogs and a 'comment' I read somewhere pissed me of. Totally pissed me of. Here we go.

You would be a good addition to the I talk 2 Much team in that you would actually bring heart to the game. I got the crappiest review possible, as you already know, and have been absolutely fine with it and found it funny. I did not ask for a review to follow it, I was just curious to see what such bitchy people would tell me. I know what I like and I don't need reassurance or advice and if I do I would know exactly where to go to get it.

I am used to intelligent banter on websites, and if not that, at least fun... so I thought I would have some fun with them and their putdown of my blog but they could not let go of the bugs up their asses and were quite nasty the whole way through... THAT was disappointing.
OK. This stealing attention wh0re decided a while ago to submit her blog to get smacked at I Talk too much [we're rude - deal with it]. Read the result. The comments, especially the 'gypsy' ones are even funnier. Now I have to read that you did not ask for a 'review' and took their 'banter' in a funny way? Why submit, don't you think the people behind that blog have enough to do without attention wh0res like you.

Let me put this straight. So you were just looking for some attention, traffic or wanted to play smarta$$ over there? What in the whole fuck!n' galaxy allows you to call those bitches 'heartless'. Do you know them? Are they really heartless? Who steals the work of a world wide respected artist and rapes that same work into a donkeydicksucking background ? To share everything on her waisted cyber trash with a Creative Common License. Or even use his work to wh0re herself (do not forget to check out the licenses on that page - i saved your page, was too lazy to screenshot). Well done fucktwat.
But if you do not know the bitches, RTFM. Luckily I can keep this rant short and proudly present everyone the (stolen) 'short version' of 'European minded' Miz. BoheMia's life.

Presented by madbull

And you stealing gypsy, if you really want to know, I got smacked as well. I got one smack but have forgotten to create any drama. Although I am inciteful. And enjoy the 2 clicks you might get over this post. It are '3 too much'.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Blogosphere = ill today ?

What is wrong with our blogosphere today? Check out the date :: Friday 13th. It is almost midnight here in the UK and so far I have not seen one singular "Friday the 13th post/meme"!

WTF is going on? Are you all sick? Ill? Burned out?

Luckily I only read my blogroll today.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

*#@$$~& §$" part-1

Last night two women kept me awake till 05.37AM ! I guess I should whine now.

Problem is that I am already sitting here since... well hours and feel that sleeeeeeepy. I don't get anything done. Above all my bo$$, discovered that we might have to work an hour longer daily. Well the same amount of minutes will be a 'supplementary' daily break, generously offered to us sys admins. DAMN AMERICANS ! First keep me up and then decide to change the system-reboot times. Why not just start an hour later in the mornings ? Ba$tard$.

I feel I could smack someone!

I guess I need to check this some more.

BTW, don't you wish your girlfriend was as h0t as mine ?!

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Your A$$ is Grass, I'm blind as a bat.

Yes. That's a tagline. Well no actually not. He's the lawnmower and not the mole on duty. After yesterdays Cult of Snarkism guest entry by kn@ppster it is time to introduce another bitch today.

Curbed enthusiasm, or the Corporal. One more mommy-blogger freak. Yes freak and that in the good way. Banned by the Blog Thunderdome, Bless'd by Blogg'd and co-nominee for the ignorant a$$hole award at IT2M can only mean one thing :: this guy bites. I read the Corporal since quite some time already, 'discovered' him at Chaos Wastes and started reading his blog as soon as his ban was over. And he definitely learned something from the Blog Thunderdome, not like other dorks. Go check him out, take your kleenex with you and enjoy Curbed-Enthusiasm, a blogger I would definitely pick as guest poster.

In the last days I feel the strong desire to write something about another blog burner. Amazingly, lately I work my posts, well occasionally I do. So keep checking this blog !

Hole $hit, I just stumbled across THIS. Roxyfoxy *ugh-puke-vomit*, try this. Extended explanation here. That's all.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Technorati Top 2000? I pine for thee.

I love Ping. One post and a technorati ping is all you need to call the popularity desire in people. Hankering (lmfao) for the Technorati Top 2000, kn@ppster got my call and suddenly his guts started to tickle. Read the result below.

Guts? Got plenty. Matter of fact, I need to go on a diet and reduce their size a bit. Honesty? Check. Wit? Well, half anyway. I'm not sure why this madman wants me guest-blogging, but wothehell and woe to you, here I am. My topic for today is why the Cult of Snarkism is beginning to become more than tiresome. Yeah, you heard me snarl. Cut out the cutesy already. It's boring me.

Here's the thing: Every behavior goes through stages. Take dance. Somehow, over the course of a few hundred years, we went from balls-out, everyone-on-the-floor clogging to boring highly structure exhibitionism judged by Masters of Subtlety with respect to the precise degree of toe inclination at the apogee of the ... whatever. Over here in Blogland, it took a couple of years to go from laying it out the way it is to searching for the perfect bon mot with which to titillate our own Masters of Subtlety. Mustn't elicit snorts and guffaws ... polite titters behind well-manicured hands, please.

I'm glad madbull lives in England so I don't have to figure out the Belgian (what do they speak in Belgium? French? German? Dutch?) for "fuck that noise." I guess there's room for all kinds of blogs ... but I'm starting to actively dislike those which seem to be written equivalents of ... er ... this -- cute and funny the first two or three times around, but really just mildly, blindly blasphemous after awhile unless the author has the stones to mix it up a little and not get comfortable.

Trying to compensate for something, Kn@ppster? Well, yeah. Sometimes I find myself in that place ... reading over my own stuff and thinking that it sounds more like my underwear is riding up and I'm grousing than that I have a spear in my side and am doing my damnedest to bury an axe in the spearchucker's skull. This is a problem, especially given the fact that I go commando. The cure is to stop being cute and get gen-you-wine. And I'm trying, folks, I'm trying. "The first step is admitting you have a problem," and I realized that when I noticed that I hadn't even been nominated for Overall Fucktard of the Year.

So, no more Mr. Nice Guy. Snark is out. The Temple of Smack the Weasels is hereby consecrated. The war of Good against Evil is on. Here's to a 2006 of mixing it up -- whether we're talking about drinks or about bloggage. Your Waisted Life? My glass of bourbon (and it is an old, wise glass of bourbon) says it's mine, bitches.

OK, writing this entry and correcting Thomas's editor I realize maybe I should have read it before I started to think about my intro. Damn my first guest post is a whine. What about some sour grapes Mr. kn@ppster ?

OK, let the bourbon come, we will share that bottle one day Thomas. Thanks for this lovely post. Btw you are just too cute for the overall fucktard award, but I will do my best to make you my successor for next year's douche bag. :D
Especially since I am even not in the running for the ignorant asshole award anymore.

Hopefully this hardly readable (background colour optimized) submission will motivate some other bloggers to guestpost. And do not forget to read kn@ppster!

Friday, January 06, 2006

Boring, who's boring here?

Lately I thought I had lost my drive, and honestly yes my 'mind' has been occupied quite a lot. To get more 'active' again I have been thinking of several different options, but basically the truth is just that I am drowning in work. Well I guess I should not complain about it, I all own it to myself to have taken that many 'jobs'. If at least I was a person able to 'dispatch' a little I would have a great life, but still I got a great life. I was actually really close to start a Flame War with Rocky Jay in the hope to 'get distracted' a little. But that would have been too easy. Not that RJ is such an 'easy victim', no just that he provides that many 'attackable material'.

But today I got distracted. I got really distracted. My life took a new turn. Really bored, I decided to check out what Moby was blogging about this year. Rose Bowl, Super Bowl, international Cricket or English Football and Jose Mourinho or Sir Alex Ferguson. Lately enough had happened. For a guy 'political' as moby even Ariel Sharon might have been a topic. Luckily he never speaks, writes or shows Paris Hilton on his blog (or not yet), but still he totally chanced my life today. I got rid of all the frustrations deep inside of me. I wanted to jump through the window, but damn security glass. Cava was not available any more and my socks, well they still rock. But Moby, yeah he did it...

He really did it... Every time I check out his blog I wonder what a boring life we, normal people have. Quickly fly to another state to see a movie. Yeah great what not to do with money. Every one's dream I would say... but you old political blogger, why not just show us some pics of your latest hair shave and hire some 'professional bloggers' or just stop blogging. Do you REALLY need to re-print a post found somewhere else ? And no I don't care that you gave credits to the original article (without link). Wanker. And you are 'the most respected famous blogger' ?

Sorry RJ but the flame will have to wait a little. Moby is more interesting (oomph) and less of a daddy blogger.

To the two readers who made it to the end of this post, do not forget this and the guest posting call.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

New Years Speech

We missed the little speech for Christmas, but I raised my credit card limit therefor by 1000GBP. Why not if you have access to the system. I missed (on purpose) the Christmas dinner, but spoiled myself therefor with a bottle of Tanqueray Gin. New Years Eve was quiet and lonely, well together with my favourite Interweb, but therefor I got drunk on Bermudez Aniversario Gold Rum.

Today, finally, it was that far. I could listen to the European Boss's New Year Speech !

'Never we had to endure that many attacks on our system... averagely 80/day... (here I refilled my glass with Cava)... only 6/day the 'security staff' had actively problems with... therefor we lost 'only' $800mio at security...
The help desk got faster and average (another glass of Cava) waiting time is now under 12min...
The illness rate got slightly the wrong way... now 83% of our students suffer regularly from the will to work... (damn I love that Cava)...'

Then, suddenly a phone rings. His phone and he answers. General surprise. The 'big guy' suddenly becomes soft... his wife at the other side. We witness the whole phone call, while I grab a waiter to refill my glass. His wife telling him he needs to go shopping urgently ! She ran out of... organic carrots ! We see him melt down and he now speaks softly to her, hardly understandable. Starting to feel pity with him, I go to the stage and offer him my glass of Cava. When he grabs towards it, I realise that it is impolite to offer someone his own glass and pull mine back. From the hand I call a waiter and within seconds his glass gets a well-deserved refill. He is totally pale now and I (just as other people) hear him say that he won't forget to pick up the laundry.

I sunk three floors through the building... realising our boss has such 'a normal' life. So did loads of my colleagues. This was the best New Years Speech I ever lived... and the Cava was great as well !

Amazing :: I managed it !

Surfing some of my reads today, emotional vomit reminded me that there was such a thing as New Years resolutions. Damn I had some of them as well. But what where they again. So I started digging in my recent posts and finally found them. Amazingly I have to say that I am still holding up with every single one of them, and this even after 3 full days ! Wowww !

Actually today I even found out that I have to stay even one week less at my job and I will have to leave my 'house' by May 5th, so I will be in the US beginning of May. Wuhuuu! Cool at least now I have a date to look forward at. At work I had some colleagues today who did not really enjoy their new background but I did enjoy it so much more.

Actually nothing special today, but therefor do not forget the guest post invitation. Two people already mentionned their intrest and I am 'digging' through their blogs. Feel free to participate. And another thing you should not forget :: also Gary had new year. Maybe you could leave him some wishes. Click the thumbnail in the sidebar. Last but not least, thank you for the comments on the new template. I think soon you might see more of 'my stuff'.

Monday, January 02, 2006

WANTED: Guts, honesty, and/or wit.

Lately, quite some blogs do Free Friday for All. Others have Thursday Thirteen, Half-Nekkid Thursday, or whatever other regular meme. I am not participating, and will not participate in any of those memes, but therefore I would like to get an 'old tradition' into life here at 'My waisted life'. The guest blogger will 'get his chance here'. Does this mean that everyone can blog here for free now ? No, fucking hell, NO!

If you know this blog and appreciate its style, honest, biting (and often sarcastic) nature, you might be one of the people who could guest blog here. So what is it about ? If you think you've got something to post here, something interesting, or something you wouldn't post at your blog, leave me a comment and I will get in touch with you. At least if you've left a 'genuine' email in the comments. But no worries, if I think your blog sucks, well you suck too much for MWL as well. No needs to apply, unless you are masochistic. Yes, you gotta have guts, honesty and/or wit. Try to read a little into MWL and you'll immediately know if you are 'appropriate or not'. Even more, you will have to mail me your post and I might just discard it when I think it sucks. Yes, it's gotta be good to show up here. This 'club' wants to will stay exclusive and exquisite. Yes, it's all about showing guts, honesty and/or wit.

So far I had already someone elected for it, but since Mr. kn@ppster has a busy life, we'll have to wait some more time to see his post.

Newsflash :: Mango

I have to interrupt my regular posting for the first haite.mail I received.

From :: Mango
Subject :: you really need to let this go.

I'm not exactly sure what "Dumb Cunt of the Year" is supposed to signify. Well, other than the fact that you need to get a life.

Best of luck with your awards. I hope they fill you with that sense of validation you appear to be desperately seeking.

Dear Mango,

You are just a pathetic cunt, a$$licking every 'popular' personality in our little blogosphere. But sadly your actions go down the toilet and you only attract mommy-bloggers long term. Sadly you hide behind this to increase your popularity. I must actually be honest at this point and admit that suckers like you and Rissah made me even not get active at Chaos Wastes, a place I liked and where I even predicted the Blog Thunderdome getting boring. You seem totally to get up in your online life (sorry I am too lazy to link even more).

But anyway to get back to the topic :: Mango fuck of, wank yourself and give us bloggers a rest. Oh, almost forgot this :: now you can start Kabooke me. Whiner.

FYI I actively 'motivated' people to nominate me at the italk2much awards.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

It is over, no more fuzz

It is over. The crazy days are gone. I even did not manage it to have one hang over, although I did my best. Not sure if I'll manage that 365 days, staying without a hang over. Now everything goes into a new phase for me. Together with the new year, for the first time I 'timed it', my life takes a new turn.

Last week Friday, the last official day of work in 2005 for me, I resigned. We found a compromise. Normally I would have had to work 6 more months when resigning, now they proposed me a deal where I only have to do 3 months and am not allowed to have an 'official' job in the next 6 weeks. Of course I am not allowed either to start for another IT-company, but therefor I can work as a freelancer. Only 'annoying' thing in the period of 3 months is that I'll have to stay where I am now. Yeah black cards again. I love them. But I guess it is normal that they do not outsource me to another company for only 6 weeks (I should leave AmEx mid february). Regular readers know I hate the atmosphere over there, advantage now is that I can REALLY do whatever I want.

This job 'change', yes I am already looking forward to find 'my bars' back, is going to have huge consequences on my life. First, like I already told, I will move to the US. But biggest change will be my wage. I know that the States are financially 'eden on earth' for good bartenders, maybe just not the area where I plan to go. I'll have to see. But where IBM/AmEx have helped me 'quite a lot' in taking care of some friends (and actually having nothing left over at the end of the month) I'll have to check now how I 'reach the end of the month'. A new situation for me. Of course if I will be lucky enough to find a job immediately in the States (which I do not doubt about) I will manage it without problems. Just the idea is weird to me. For the first time I also think about this whole 'moving' thing. Damn crossing the ocean is something different as moving in Europe. Anyway I will probably just travel with a backpack. I really want to and will do it. America here I come.

Right now I have a bigger problem. The liquor store around the corner is closing in some minutes. Since I want to start 2006 in the 'best way' I gotta run ! And do not forget to visit I have a crazy wife, my renter. Click the thumbnail in the sidebar to visit his blog.

Drama queen level

I know it... I finally discovered it :: i also want to get hate mail. Please help me get the drama queen level higher.

Sorry but you will have to type the addy, spam mail doesn't count.
And yes, you are still supposed to go visit Gary's blog, because his humour is still great and you probably do not know his blog. Go click on that thumbnail now ! Or click this. Thanks.