Saturday, January 07, 2006

Technorati Top 2000? I pine for thee.

I love Ping. One post and a technorati ping is all you need to call the popularity desire in people. Hankering (lmfao) for the Technorati Top 2000, kn@ppster got my call and suddenly his guts started to tickle. Read the result below.

Guts? Got plenty. Matter of fact, I need to go on a diet and reduce their size a bit. Honesty? Check. Wit? Well, half anyway. I'm not sure why this madman wants me guest-blogging, but wothehell and woe to you, here I am. My topic for today is why the Cult of Snarkism is beginning to become more than tiresome. Yeah, you heard me snarl. Cut out the cutesy already. It's boring me.

Here's the thing: Every behavior goes through stages. Take dance. Somehow, over the course of a few hundred years, we went from balls-out, everyone-on-the-floor clogging to boring highly structure exhibitionism judged by Masters of Subtlety with respect to the precise degree of toe inclination at the apogee of the ... whatever. Over here in Blogland, it took a couple of years to go from laying it out the way it is to searching for the perfect bon mot with which to titillate our own Masters of Subtlety. Mustn't elicit snorts and guffaws ... polite titters behind well-manicured hands, please.

I'm glad madbull lives in England so I don't have to figure out the Belgian (what do they speak in Belgium? French? German? Dutch?) for "fuck that noise." I guess there's room for all kinds of blogs ... but I'm starting to actively dislike those which seem to be written equivalents of ... er ... this -- cute and funny the first two or three times around, but really just mildly, blindly blasphemous after awhile unless the author has the stones to mix it up a little and not get comfortable.

Trying to compensate for something, Kn@ppster? Well, yeah. Sometimes I find myself in that place ... reading over my own stuff and thinking that it sounds more like my underwear is riding up and I'm grousing than that I have a spear in my side and am doing my damnedest to bury an axe in the spearchucker's skull. This is a problem, especially given the fact that I go commando. The cure is to stop being cute and get gen-you-wine. And I'm trying, folks, I'm trying. "The first step is admitting you have a problem," and I realized that when I noticed that I hadn't even been nominated for Overall Fucktard of the Year.

So, no more Mr. Nice Guy. Snark is out. The Temple of Smack the Weasels is hereby consecrated. The war of Good against Evil is on. Here's to a 2006 of mixing it up -- whether we're talking about drinks or about bloggage. Your Waisted Life? My glass of bourbon (and it is an old, wise glass of bourbon) says it's mine, bitches.

OK, writing this entry and correcting Thomas's editor I realize maybe I should have read it before I started to think about my intro. Damn my first guest post is a whine. What about some sour grapes Mr. kn@ppster ?

OK, let the bourbon come, we will share that bottle one day Thomas. Thanks for this lovely post. Btw you are just too cute for the overall fucktard award, but I will do my best to make you my successor for next year's douche bag. :D
Especially since I am even not in the running for the ignorant asshole award anymore.

Hopefully this hardly readable (background colour optimized) submission will motivate some other bloggers to guestpost. And do not forget to read kn@ppster!